Will you give me a discount in return for my feature request?

I’ve shortened the first part of his message for brevity, but the rest is 100% exactly what he wrote to us:

FROM: Some user <somebody@somewhere>

I am trying to [some random thing, we have no idea what he’s talking about]
Do you have anything like that?

If NOT and you implement it, will you give me some kind discount for the suggestion?

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We honest to God laughed out loud when we read that last line.  I wanted so bad to reply back “Yes, pretty please won’t you give us a suggestion for something to do with all our free time over here, PLEASE!!”.  (But I didn’t.)

Seriously though.  The poor guy must not understand that feature requests are a dime a dozen.  EVERYBODY has some idea, and everybody thinks THEIR idea is the most amazing thing ever.  (I got news for you: they’re not.)  Nobody ever stops to think our schedules might already be full, or that maybe we have our own ideas to pursue.

So yeah… some random guy with some random idea that I honestly couldn’t even understand what he was trying to say… and he wants me to PAY HIM for the suggestion?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I love this guy!

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